Existing Outside the System


The times they are a’changin’. And humans don’t like change. We naturally resist it. The massive waves of shifting are insurmountable. None of us escape it.

In the midst of all the chaos and the breaking down of systems left and right, and people who are unraveling, we are doing our best to co-create a way of being that is aligned with our Earth. We don’t really know what we are doing, but fumbling our way through is the best one can expect.

We have just finished packing, moving, cleaning, painting and unpacking (well not finished unpacking, we are halfway done) into our new home in Richmond, Maine. Life was upended, and it feels like we are in a completely new way of being right now. It’s interesting how one really needs to have the basic needs met before you can move on to other things, like a place to sleep, things to eat, etc. And to have your space feel good around you (as good as it can be). There’s a reason Feng Shui is so powerful!

We have so many visions of what can happen with this house and land in Richmond, Maine. Chickens, bees, canning the fruit from cherry/apple/plum trees, making wine from the grapevines, hosting fire pit meditations… Chris has a band practice space above the garage and I have a little sanctuary cabin to see clients in. We have been pouring in sweat to update and renovate, and will be for a while, but this is the place I had envisioned in an open, accepting, peaceful community. It took a few years to come into fruition, and we had to clear some limiting beliefs, but it happened.

After taking last week off, and doing a retreat at Chebeague with some amazing women (which went incredibly well), I am back to work this week. And soon we begin our new life in rural Maine, me homeschooling the kids along with my friend’s kids sometimes, getting to know folks in our new town, and harvesting the fruits (literally) of our land. Every day is a new day that brings the unexpected. I feel so blessed, and so curious about what’s to come.

Then when I go out into more urban areas, or interact with certain people in my life, It’s a different story. There’s fear and division, and that can be confusing. But, then again, maybe it’s an opportunity to practice being strong and present in ourselves, in what feels true to us. Not trying to change another’s point of view or approach, and at the same time honoring what feels right to us. It’s the new way of living in the 5D world… vibrationally speaking.. of sharing resources in community with other people, of being one in nature, of bringing in light, and of quieting the mind daily. Oh! And don’t forget joy – just having fun! The gift that children and animals can bring.

breadIt is not easy for many right now, whether you are operating within the system or outside of it. I personally will not comply with some of the excessive rules and regulations, and others I will. It’s all about balance and what feels right. And, ultimately, the change begins from within. In my family, we are living in a paradox. We love our new home and are creating a homesteading/homeschooling life that feels like living in a dream. We have made some new friends who we love, and still connect with old friends (like my 5D consciousness group who I love so dearly)! Yet, for me, I am managing some challenging ancestral pattern-breaking. (Check out this past post for some tips on how to heal conflicts with others.) It feels empowering, yet sad. Invigorating, yet confusing. Many of us are experiencing similar pattern-breaking, confronted with the shadows within us (which others in our lives can mirror back to us!) and with healing, through understanding and compassion for the perspective/point of view of another. 

A wise person said “There can be no fear with love. And there can be no love with fear.” 

There are still many people who are living in abject fear, in a constant state of “fight or flight” thinking, which could lead to long-term stress and emotional damage. Luckily, there is something that can be done about this.

(As my 8 year old son likes to say, “I don’t want to survive, I want to LIVE.”)

In this time, I propose doing the following exercise, which I do with clients who experience anxiety. Remember that FEAR = False Evidence Appearing Real (even though some fears are based in reality, they are often vastly, vastly overblown by certain sources of information, creating irrational thinking).

Worst Case Scenario Exercise:

Are you rehashing the past or worrying about the future? It can help to view any situation causing you anxiety from varying perspectives, from “worst’ to “best” case scenarios.

First, describe the situation that is causing you anxiety and worry:

Reflect on a few of the worst case scenarios that could come from the situation. This is to help simply identify your worries and fears and examine if they are actually real. Sometimes while some of the worst possible outcomes may actually seem to be logical and possible to a certain extent, many of them are actually not based in fact. (Keep in mind the concept of “confirmation bias”: we tend to focus only on the things that prove our beliefs are true, not things that are actually true – humans are not logical at all)!

Recognize that these beliefs may actually just come from catastrophizing, or getting emotionally escalated by anxiety. So after listing all of these worries, reflect on the probability that each will occur, the likelihood that each of these scenarios would actually happen (90%? 30%?). You will probably notice that the probability for each is less likely than you had previously believed.

Now come up with a “best case scenario” for each of the “worst case” ones – make it as crazy and as unrealistic as you like, just for fun and to lighten up the mood. Lastly, see if you can settle on a “most likely scenario,” which is the outcome that actually is most likely to really occur. This is hopefully something that will help ease your worry over the situation. Make sure the “most likely scenario” something that you really feel deep in your bones, sometimes that feels true, possible and realistic. Or you can come up with some action steps first, and then see what “most likely scenario” would unfold based on your new actions.

Worst Case Scenario:

Probability this Will Actually Happen:

Best Case Scenario:

Most Likely Scenario:

Now, list some solutions/action steps you can take based on your new perspectives!

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