It’s Okay To Allow Yourself to Feel

Dear brave ones walking the Earth,

I am coming off a weeklong vacation that was filled with summer activities and joy. I was saying to a few friends the other day that here in Maine we spend as much time as possible outdoors in the summer, to soak up the blessings of the Earth.

Yet, for the introvert in me, I often crave time alone to just read and sit among the green and the flowers too. This time is so important for me, and I’m guessing for you as well, to really connect with our inner selves.

In a session today with a new client, she was expressing some frustration with having worked on herself for so long, and still feeling stuck.

It can be so hard when we feel like we have tried everything and that we are still not where we want to be. It’s almost enough to want to give up and stop trying.

And yet, what if it’s not about trying?

What it’s about simply just changing our perspective and our internal wiring?

So many of us have been programmed with sets of subconscious beliefs that we carry around us without even realizing that these beliefs are guiding our behaviors.

Maybe we believe that we have to always be doing more to really be adequate in this world.

Or maybe we are operating on a story that we have to constantly work to be enough in some way (which can be a way of avoiding emotions).

And while these beliefs may be hanging around, sometimes we don’t feel like we have the energy to even work on ourselves anymore.

If this is happening to you, you might want just pause and notice what’s happening.

Here’s a way to do move through heavy emotions such as these to begin to separate from the beliefs, as described in this my recent book, Tools for the Awakening Soul:

In Buddhist meditation practice, there is an acronym called RAIN, which stands for Recognition, Acceptance, Investigation and Non-Identification. We recognize the emotion/thought, accept that it’s there, investigate it and then separate (or de-identify) from it. This process helps us remember that we can be an observer of our emotions, rather than spinning around in circles with them.When we pause and quiet our minds in the midst of an undesired emotion or thought, we can observe the emotion/thought and begin to separate from it. By naming the emotion/thought and responding to it with breath, we can begin to de-identify with it, and realize that it’s only temporary. In this way, the emotion/thought will lose power over us and eventually fade away.

Below is a short meditative exercise, based on the RAIN practice. You can do this at any time that you feel that an unwanted emotion or thought is taking over.

RAIN Meditative Exercise

Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths, relaxing your body as much as possible. Bring your attention to your breath. Notice your abdomen moving in and out with each breath. Observe your breath moving in your nostrils, throat, lungs and back out again.Locate where the unwanted, persistent emotion or thought lies within your body (usually in the stomach/chest/heart/throat). See if you can label this feeling: (I feel ________ worry/anger/sadness/self-doubt/etc.). Breathe into the feeling, as if you were tunneling into the center of it. Notice what it feels like (heavy or tight?). Observe any other sensations/vibrations/colors associated with this feeling.

Breathe here for a while until you feel a shifting, or until the emotion begins to decrease in intensity. Return to your breath and visualize light, hope and peace in this area, replacing it with a desired feeling you seek.

The more you practice this technique when stressed, the more you will train your mind and body to release heavy emotions automatically. Some people find it helpful to have reminders on their phone, or post-its around their home to help them create this new RAIN habit of identifying and releasing attachment to a negative feeling. If you do this, eventually, the RAIN meditative practice will become second nature. It takes practice to re-wire our brains in this way. With consistency and reminders, we can release the negative emotions and allow them to wash over and flow through us much more easily.

With hope for us,

Rachel

P.S. When all else fails, the Earth is there for us. In our collective healing, the Earth can teach us how to be. We are learning to respect Gaia for her wisdom, and we are learning to give back as we receive her abundant resources. The more we come into stillness and a remembrance that, like the elements of nature, we are pieces of the Source (God), we can let go of our lower, smaller selves and become more fully in alignment with our Higher Selves. This is a short 46-second video clip on Aligning with Earth Energies. We give thanks to Mother Earth for showing us the way.